Act 1, Scene 4: Rain

I wanted to tell a joke today. But I don't feel like it.

I want to ask a question though.

To you.

Am I just a friend? When a few months ago, you said we were closer than you were with your other friends and I felt like I had a best friend.

Maybe I just need to have the strength to walk away. If that's what you want. To be just, a friend.

You have so many others, the loss of me will make no difference.

You will never understand how I feel or how much I will lose when I let you go. I only have you.

You've got selective amnesia. But I've been the one person who has seen you cry so many times and who always wanted to put his arm around you and tell you it's going to be okay.

And when everything is back to normal, everything is forgotten.

Please don't treat me as you do your other friends. Cos I genuinely care. But if you wish me to cease, I will try to find the strength to.

You're always running away from your problems. I'm glad you've finally faced this one. But I'm still waiting for an answer. And sometimes I feel as if I'm never going to get it.

I'm sorry.

You probably forgot how soaked I was riding in the rain so that we could go cycling. And when I got there, you broke my heart yet I kept quiet so I could see you smile. But I didn't get to. And I wished so hard it would rain on my ride home so that it would wash the tears off my face and hide them. You'll never know how much I hurt.

Are you so ashamed of me that you do not wish for others to see us together? Have you ever thought about how lucky you are for someone to be so devoted to you that others will look beyond what I look like and congratulate you on your happiness?

I brought you to my one secret place. I've never brought anyone else there. And I was so happy to see you happy there. Now, I don't know if I made the right choice. Cos everytime I go there now, I'll think about you.

I'm emo..so what? That only means I have feelings. Is that wrong? Rather than hiding behind a cloak and pretending nothing is wrong.

I just wish I'll die before you do. Cos I really don't know what to do without you in my life anymore.