Act 7, Scene 8: We're flying to Venus

End of the week. End of the month.

I had a fabulous week. Kinda dreading next week but I can't complain cos I had so much fun last week.

I went for my second group tuition last Wednesday and it was exactly like Monday. I really enjoyed myself even though I was utterly pooped. I guess the only disadvantage is that we have to dress as we would when we're in school; and that means no berms and slippers. Haha. If you knew me, you'd know that's all I ever wear. We even have to tuck in our shirts but I haven't been doing it since my first lesson and since no-one has told me off yet, I don't think I will. =P Anyway, it's still in Woodlands and it isn't so bad cos there's a straight bus from home.

Been cycling to work daily since Tuesday. Can't afford the debacle of Monday ever again but starting work at 10 is really turning out to be a blessing. Usually I'll leave home about 930 and it takes about 10 minutes of easy cycling to get to work. If I'm really in a rush, it'll take about 5-7 minutes. Haha. And from Thursday I was in a rush. I even managed to cycle to the mosque on Friday. I end my class at 12 so given that Zohor is a comfortable 1-plus, I usually cycle slowly, park and walk a bit to the restaurant near there. Have a bit of lunch then walk back to the mosque. But the cycle back is crazy. Haha. Like, last week, prayers ended at about 1.50pm so I had like 10 minutes to put on my shoes and all that other stuff. Ooh, I wear sneakers by the way. Haha. They're made of suede so they're not like normal sneakers and they're tan so, they go well with my tan pants. Haha.

Thursday was abit harder. Had tuition in Jurong. But I made the best of the trip by bringing along a book. Made the trip seem much shorter than it was. Kid was alright. Don't think I'll mention him much. House is pretty accessible too. Took a cab back after. Felt like I deserved that little bit of luxury. Haha. But it came out in the news today that taxi companies are mulling over a new fuel surcharge. Airline companies have been charging a fuel surcharge since 2004. In case you don't know what that is, it's the charge they impose on you that, in some cases, may be more than what you're paying for your ticket. Crappy yea? Anyway, the taxi companies are thinking of a 40 cent flat fee as the surcharge. But some cabbies are torn over it because they're already getting lesser fares due to the December hike. CASE has even mentioned that this recent decision might hold no water because taxi companies hiked prices in December due to 'rising fuel prices', so theoretically, this new increase is unjustified and will anull the previous reason. So we'll have to wait and see. One cabby put it very plainly by saying that this will further alienate people from the idea of taking a cab; forcing people to turn to buses and MRTs. Ooh, and did you know there are a total of 24,000 cabs on the roads? I sure didn't. Cos sometimes I don't see a single one or the taxi company cannot find me one even when I make an advance booking.

Moving on, Friday and Saturday were nice days - cos I got to spend them with Nur. We did our road-trekking thing again where I just drive and we talk about stuff. I think I wasted alot of time driving cos we didn't have a destination in mind but I didn't care. As long as she was there. Anyway, we had planned to check out where her brother was gonna start his IA but ended up getting her dinner. She had a craving for sotong you tiao so I drove to Tampines (we were in the East anyway) to Habibies but it was closed. So I drove to Simpang Bedok and Hawa's. They were super-busy and the place was jam=packed with people so had to wait for abit but it was worth it. =)

Yesterday we both had tuition so I picked her up too. Got to my own tuition late and got an earful from the mum (which is why I don't wanna talk about it). So anyway, after, I had to go down to Vivocity for some adidas event and she had to go back to work. Grabbed her lunch from Mac's along the way (and we had to wait for it cos SOMEONE wanted unsalted fries....), dropped her off then went off to Vivo. I got to the podium a mere TWO minutes late and they told me they had closed registration; which was eff-ing stupid cos they knew I was coming. They could have at least called when I hadn't turned up but did they? NOOOOooooo.... So I stormed off la. Couldn't deal with idiots that day. Grabbed my own lunch from banquet then went off to Labrador Park to have it. I'd hung around cos I wanted to fetch her home from her workplace too. Anyway Labrador park is damn nice now. Haha. It's really quiet cos there're not too many people there plus they're building a new resort thingy at the old Naval base. There's already a seafood restaurant there but I didn't see any customers yesterday.

So hung around for about an hour enjoying the sea breeze and sun. Then Princess messaged me saying it was getting hot in the office so I went to fetch her. Drove back to Yishun when she told me at the last moment that she wanted to see her old school. So we drove to Hougang and just drove around abit. Got her an ice-cream at Punggol cos it was warm. Haha. She discovered her first taste of attap chee ice cream. Next, we visited Seletar Airport, which was a first for me too and it was cool. Makes hanging out at Seletar Dam seem so lame. Haha. And then off to home we went. Was a really nice time and it made me miss those days when we used to do it on a weekly basis. =)

So here I am on a Sunday morning just lazing around. Gotta start on a couple of lesson plans soon. Taking over English classes on Monday and Tuesday and Math classes on the last 3 days of the week. Hmm, gotta step up the game I guess even though grading's just a pass or fail. But all the best to me and I do know I can do it when my head's in it so, yea. =)

Act 7, Scene 7: I'll paint it black and take it back.

First day of TA.

Woke up early at 6. Told my brain to start itself up..no FORCED it to. Was all ready by 640. Thought I could walk slowly and reach about 7. Couldn't find socks. Panicked. Left house at 655. School starts at 710. Die...

Was late by a couple of minutes. I'm glad I worked out during the holidays. Because if I had let myself be sedentary throughout, I think I might have reached later. I walked, by the way.

Tough day. School is vastly different from what I was used to. But manageable. Heat was getting to me and I was wet and sticky throughout the day. Must really get accustomed to it soon. Went back lethargic and all.

Napped for awhile. About 45 minutes. Woke up. Showered, change of clothes. Off to tuition. Was really dreading it because I felt so freaking spent. I hadn't eaten anything the whole day. Gave myself the illusion I had by chewing gum from 7am to 3 in the afternoon. Almost got lock-jaw. Ate a sandwich and grabbed Macs on the way.

Reached early, about 635. Sat down and talked to Herlina and the HT. Was ok. She seemed really friendly. Then Hidayah, my classmate from DCM came. First time ever I talked to her. Haha. She seemed really fierce in class. But turns out she is a nice girl. *hinthint* Hahaha...

So anyway, tuition was fabulous. Kids were quiet at first but they warmed up after awhile. I just hope they wont step all over me but I doubt it. I still have control. Haha. But it really made me think about how much I missed teaching a class instead of one kid. And how much it felt like my calling. So then I got optimistic about everything.

Anyway my timetable's kinda advantageous. I start at 10 in the morning and end at 330 in the afternoon. So it's really helpful especially after a night of tuition. So I'm really glad things worked out this way. Alhamdulillah.

So anyway, too tired now. Will blog more at the end of the week I guess. More stories then. More rest too. =)

Act 7, Scene 6: Why am I so obviously insane?

One call.

Her voice.

I'm calm.

=)

Act 7, Scene 5: Well if you wanted honesty...

I'm so torn up right now. I'm getting worried. I'm freaking out.

But WHY?

Hai.. I need to chill out. It's nothing major. Just another phase. We'll see how the first week works out and change as we go along. Nothing is set in stone yet.

=)

This past week has been surreal. But I guess I got caught up too much in it. I need to take a step back and ask myself some very important questions. Cos the more I keep myself in it, the more confused and emotional I get.

A day left to the new Semester. School doesn't start for another month but I've to do an assistantship at some school nearby. Next week will be the week of firsts. First time doing Mendaki tuition; first time with my other new tuition assignment; first time in a new school. Looking back on my decision not to go back to my contract school, I fear I may have made a mistake. Everyone wishes that their choice of something new will be better than sticking with what they have. I think that, unless you've exhausted all possibility of living with what you have, you shouldn't abandon it. I don't know. Maybe I'm just overthinking it. But it's not like I have anybody to tell it to anyway.

I just have to promise myself that I will not be distracted this semester like I did in the last one. I'll need to be on my best behaviour; even then, it'll take alot of effort. I have to disassociate myself with all the self-pity I have been wallowing in in the last semester. I need to prove something to myself; that it is not a fluke. I cannot concern myself with what is happening to others around me anymore. Because they sure aren't going to help me achieve what I need to.

NEED... not want. It's not a question of whether I want to achieve this anymore. I need to.

For myself. Finally.

Last semester shall live on as a bad memory. I averaged a B- and my GPA suffered. Not again.

For me.

Act 7, Scene 4: Heart

Strength.

Stamina.

Skill.

Speed.

These four skills are the pillars upon which a rugby player is built on. A combination of any amount of the four will ensure success. Different players will build on a different area. But a balance of the four will complete the player.

I've been super-set-ting my exercises to save some time. Built on what I deemed necessary for my game.

Haven't been to the gym since I got back from KL. Been working out at home for some time now. But managed to complement that with swims in the past week. 1.2km each time for a total of 2.4km. Quite acceptable considering I havent swam in weeks.

My resting heart rate is also lower. My stamina is increasing. Not to mention my strength. Progression, the name of the game.

I think I might try out for the NK team next year. But my biggest worry will me time-management. I screwed up last semester by not studying and I failed big time. Also I let too many things get to me. Hopefully next semester will be better.

As you can tell, my thoughts are not really fully collected. If you want an indication of my mindset, check out my Facebook statuses. I don't understand some things. But if you wanna walk away, I won't stop you; not anymore. You mean the world to me.. apparently, I now know I don't mean squat to you. I still consider you a part of my life and I only wish the best for you. I'll talk about this more tomorrow. I still need to think of how I am going to phrase it.

Act 7, Scene 3: Enjoy

I'm taking a break to collect my thoughts. In the meantime, enjoy this video. It's my 'it' song for now.

Act 7, Scene 2: Because

What have I done to make you go away?

Is it so severe that this is the only option left?

Or have you forgotten how much you mean to me...
and all that I've done for you.

Do they mean nothing now?

I only wanted to see you happy. You say you're not. I ask why. You say you're fine.

I'm not happy.


Because...

I miss seeing you smile
I miss your scent
I miss hearing the sound of your voice
I miss driving around with you
I miss watching you walk
I miss how you use the mirror to check the way you look
I miss buying milk for you

I miss you.

Don't you?

Act 7, Scene 1: Aye, aye! Labu! Labu!

Just got back from KL/Melaka a few minutes ago. Was an ok trip overall. Did some things I normally wouldn't do...like buy stuff. Haha.

But... too tired to type now.

Here's a breakdown of today:

1) Drove +/- 90 km from Putrajaya to Simpang Ampat to get to Kampung. Kampung's in Lubok Cina, Melaka; some border village on the northern border with Negri Sembilan.

2) Drove 145 km from Pagoh to Skudai. No new speed record sadly because I was driving at night and it was raining. But still managed the distance in about 50 minutes. So you do the math. =) TP's gonna be pissed. Haha.

Anyway now's a good time to head north into Pahang and Melaka because it's the start of the fruiting season. Durians in Melaka were going at RM 1/kg. That's like 40 cents. Haha. But if you're there to see the fruits, most have either been picked or have just begun to bloom so you'll see lots of unripe fruit bunches but you can imagine what they'll look like ripe. Rambutans are still green but I did see lemons, mangosteens, durians, coconuts (this doesnt depend on the season but I did see it. So yea...lots of fruits. =)

Well, what I need now is lots of rest... So off to bed I go. =)