But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find
This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
(http://www.imeem.com/people/CZghDCT/music/MN81vePJ/secondhand_serenade_fall_for_you/)
=)
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Act 6, Scene 2: Silence
A couple of things happened today erasing the possibility of it turning into a boring day.
1) I got a call on the home phone at about 11 in the morning. It went as follows:
Me: Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you)
Hysterical Girl (in Mandarin): Father, help me... I've been kidnapped/in trouble. (From what I could gather from my 4 years spent in a Chinese secondary school)
M: (pauses) You've got the wrong number.
HG (suddenly stop crying and returns to a normal speaking voice): Orh..Byebye.
I sat down on the couch expecting nothing from it. I mean, I know it's a scam where these callers randomly call up numbers and say they're the daughter/sister/niece/granddaughter and that they've been kidnapped and beg for the relatives to pay for their ransom. But it gets me that the person getting the call will not ask for the caller's name to verify their identity and whether they're truly their relative.
Furthermore, I guess these victims fall into the moment so they don't bother to confirm. But what if they get a family that only has sons. Do they then get a boy to call the family again? Incredulous, you say? Because this was what happened a few minutes later.
*phone rings*
Me: Assalamualaikum.
*in background, a man can be heard screaming in a threatening manner; most probably directed at the girl for the added effect for the kidnap call*
At this point, I knew the scammers were back.
HG (in Mandarin): Father, help me. I've been kidnapped/in trouble.
Me (in a calm but frightening tone): Look, if you don't stop calling, I'm gonna call the Police. And then I'm gonna go with them and KICK YOUR ASS...
*click*
*engaged tone*
Hahahaha...they were probably scared off by the Police comment but I just felt like repaying them for brightening up my day with their jokes with one of my own. =) Of course, I had prepared a more R rated one where I would ask the girl for sex but that would have taken too long and HG couldn't keep up her act for long, I gather.
2) I met with an accident today. Nothing serious but I almost died from the shock. Haha. Ok, this was what happened.
I was riding my bicycle to tuition, like I always do. But it was drizzling today. I had this weird feeling cos I initially had wanted to take a bus, which I had never felt like doing before.
So anyway, as I was nearing the place, I saw a sign which said 'No bicycles on footpaths' but I disregarded it cos I've ridden it so many times before. But not long after I passed the sign, my bicycle skidded.
Now, initially, I kinda expected it to skid because I saw that the path had suddenly become slippery. So I kinda just rode through the skid. But then, it got worse. I skidded onto the road. Into the path of an oncoming taxi. And it was accelerating by the sound of its engine revving. So I rolled around and pushed myself out of its way. I managed to kick my bike out of its way too, into the opposite road which was empty.
The fella did an emergency brake. Ha..I swear to you his face was paler than mine when he came out of the cab to check on me. But I was alright other than some bruising to my hip and thigh and ankle from the impact of the skid. Nothing happened cos of the taxi so after making sure I was ok, I told the cabby to go cos it wasn't anything. My bike had a few scratches and I tore my sandals but physically I was fine. So I said a little prayer to thank God for keeping me alive and went about repairing my stuff. Funny thing was, a couple of people saw it, even one guy sitting under the block less than 5 metres from where I fell, but none came up to offer me help.
My bike chain had come off but it was still workable and my sandals were torn, which I fixed with a plastic bag twisted into a rope of some sort. And off I was cos the block was less than a minute's ride away. But I was drenched.
You never know the seriousness of an event until you replay it through your mind. And I seriously didn't think anything of it until I was on my ride back.
What if I had been a split second slower in my skid or even my journey?
What if I hadn't seen the taxi coming and was slow to push myself out of its way?
What if the cab driver hadn't seen me and continued accelerating?
The answer: I guess I wouldn't be sitting here typing this out then. Alhamdullilah.
I realise there are many other things for me to consider in my life than my troubles. A simple journey I have done numerous times nearly took my life today.
But I am thankful for everything I have and the people I have around me. And for being able to sit here and type out one more entry. =)
1) I got a call on the home phone at about 11 in the morning. It went as follows:
Me: Assalamualaikum (Peace be upon you)
Hysterical Girl (in Mandarin): Father, help me... I've been kidnapped/in trouble. (From what I could gather from my 4 years spent in a Chinese secondary school)
M: (pauses) You've got the wrong number.
HG (suddenly stop crying and returns to a normal speaking voice): Orh..Byebye.
I sat down on the couch expecting nothing from it. I mean, I know it's a scam where these callers randomly call up numbers and say they're the daughter/sister/niece/granddaughter and that they've been kidnapped and beg for the relatives to pay for their ransom. But it gets me that the person getting the call will not ask for the caller's name to verify their identity and whether they're truly their relative.
Furthermore, I guess these victims fall into the moment so they don't bother to confirm. But what if they get a family that only has sons. Do they then get a boy to call the family again? Incredulous, you say? Because this was what happened a few minutes later.
*phone rings*
Me: Assalamualaikum.
*in background, a man can be heard screaming in a threatening manner; most probably directed at the girl for the added effect for the kidnap call*
At this point, I knew the scammers were back.
HG (in Mandarin): Father, help me. I've been kidnapped/in trouble.
Me (in a calm but frightening tone): Look, if you don't stop calling, I'm gonna call the Police. And then I'm gonna go with them and KICK YOUR ASS...
*click*
*engaged tone*
Hahahaha...they were probably scared off by the Police comment but I just felt like repaying them for brightening up my day with their jokes with one of my own. =) Of course, I had prepared a more R rated one where I would ask the girl for sex but that would have taken too long and HG couldn't keep up her act for long, I gather.
2) I met with an accident today. Nothing serious but I almost died from the shock. Haha. Ok, this was what happened.
I was riding my bicycle to tuition, like I always do. But it was drizzling today. I had this weird feeling cos I initially had wanted to take a bus, which I had never felt like doing before.
So anyway, as I was nearing the place, I saw a sign which said 'No bicycles on footpaths' but I disregarded it cos I've ridden it so many times before. But not long after I passed the sign, my bicycle skidded.
Now, initially, I kinda expected it to skid because I saw that the path had suddenly become slippery. So I kinda just rode through the skid. But then, it got worse. I skidded onto the road. Into the path of an oncoming taxi. And it was accelerating by the sound of its engine revving. So I rolled around and pushed myself out of its way. I managed to kick my bike out of its way too, into the opposite road which was empty.
The fella did an emergency brake. Ha..I swear to you his face was paler than mine when he came out of the cab to check on me. But I was alright other than some bruising to my hip and thigh and ankle from the impact of the skid. Nothing happened cos of the taxi so after making sure I was ok, I told the cabby to go cos it wasn't anything. My bike had a few scratches and I tore my sandals but physically I was fine. So I said a little prayer to thank God for keeping me alive and went about repairing my stuff. Funny thing was, a couple of people saw it, even one guy sitting under the block less than 5 metres from where I fell, but none came up to offer me help.
My bike chain had come off but it was still workable and my sandals were torn, which I fixed with a plastic bag twisted into a rope of some sort. And off I was cos the block was less than a minute's ride away. But I was drenched.
You never know the seriousness of an event until you replay it through your mind. And I seriously didn't think anything of it until I was on my ride back.
What if I had been a split second slower in my skid or even my journey?
What if I hadn't seen the taxi coming and was slow to push myself out of its way?
What if the cab driver hadn't seen me and continued accelerating?
The answer: I guess I wouldn't be sitting here typing this out then. Alhamdullilah.
I realise there are many other things for me to consider in my life than my troubles. A simple journey I have done numerous times nearly took my life today.
But I am thankful for everything I have and the people I have around me. And for being able to sit here and type out one more entry. =)
Monday, May 26, 2008
Act 6, Scene 1: Episode 1
I don't know what to do anymore.
I just spent 2 minutes staring at the screen wondering if I should say what I wanna say.
But is it meant for everyone?
Why can you say how you feel in your blog but I can't in my own.
I still love you.
But I know that that is not what you want.
Have I been replaced?
I think so.
I need to learn to live without you in my life so much.
It'll hurt even more if you're not around.
So please don't go...
Just stay around so that I can learn not to love you so much.
I just spent 2 minutes staring at the screen wondering if I should say what I wanna say.
But is it meant for everyone?
Why can you say how you feel in your blog but I can't in my own.
I still love you.
But I know that that is not what you want.
Have I been replaced?
I think so.
I need to learn to live without you in my life so much.
It'll hurt even more if you're not around.
So please don't go...
Just stay around so that I can learn not to love you so much.
Act 5, Scene 6: Boys don't cry
Bones bones brittle little bones
Its not the milk you seek
Its the sun you need
- 'Don't call me Whitney, Bobby', Islands
Don't think I'll write about the cart thingy. I've got a headache. Anyway, the line above is from a song. Quite nice. Has this kind of nonsensical lyrics which I guess must make sense to them. But the rhythm's pretty nice. =)
Went back to the gym today with Sher. Got back into the groove of things but my cardio's really suffered after such a long layoff. Guess I've got to start rebuilding the rhythm for that. We hung out in the canteen as usual after but NIE's become so dead lately cos it's the holidays but we did get to see some eye-candy; most probably teachers back for a course or something.
Went to IMM for the first time in 3 years today. Lot's of changes but I find it a little cramped. Plus Giant looks like it needs some renovations too. Hung out at BK talking about stuff. Haha. CLASSIFIED STUFF.
I'm really glad to be back in the gym. It helps take my mind off stuff. And I really need that right now. Things have been moving along too quickly for me to effectively take stock of my options. So just being there and sitting between sets gives me time to think. And when it get's too complicated, I do another set. Honestly, I lost count of how many sets I was doing just now. Came to a point when I told Sher, 'I just wanna fall in love with the machines here. They give me pain; but they build me up.' Hmm, philosophical.
Don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow though. Hopefully someone asks me out. Haha. But I do have tuition at 430. So yea... Maybe a swim will be good.
Its not the milk you seek
Its the sun you need
- 'Don't call me Whitney, Bobby', Islands
Don't think I'll write about the cart thingy. I've got a headache. Anyway, the line above is from a song. Quite nice. Has this kind of nonsensical lyrics which I guess must make sense to them. But the rhythm's pretty nice. =)
Went back to the gym today with Sher. Got back into the groove of things but my cardio's really suffered after such a long layoff. Guess I've got to start rebuilding the rhythm for that. We hung out in the canteen as usual after but NIE's become so dead lately cos it's the holidays but we did get to see some eye-candy; most probably teachers back for a course or something.
Went to IMM for the first time in 3 years today. Lot's of changes but I find it a little cramped. Plus Giant looks like it needs some renovations too. Hung out at BK talking about stuff. Haha. CLASSIFIED STUFF.
I'm really glad to be back in the gym. It helps take my mind off stuff. And I really need that right now. Things have been moving along too quickly for me to effectively take stock of my options. So just being there and sitting between sets gives me time to think. And when it get's too complicated, I do another set. Honestly, I lost count of how many sets I was doing just now. Came to a point when I told Sher, 'I just wanna fall in love with the machines here. They give me pain; but they build me up.' Hmm, philosophical.
Don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow though. Hopefully someone asks me out. Haha. But I do have tuition at 430. So yea... Maybe a swim will be good.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Act 5, Scene 5: Dance of makcik carts
Had a late night last night. Fetched Princess from JP at about 4 and drove back. Reached home and had to go out again to send my dad to work. Then, the fun began. =)
I rarely get to go out with just my mum these days cos of her work and my sister's insistence of coming down from the other end of the island just so she can tag along so yesterday was the perfect time for us to enjoy just a mother-son kinda night. I don't really mind if my sister tags along. It's just that she makes the whole outing her-centered so I don't really appreciate that.
So we started off with our search for a carpark lot in our favourite mall, Vivocity. A tip for frequent visitors; use your receipt for purchases to earn free parking fees at Vivocity. Just bring your receipts and the number on your IU unit (the number on the top of the IU) to the reception counter on Level 2, outside the Nokia shop and they'll convert your purchases to free parking. I spent close to a $1000 in August-September last year so we got about $100 worth of free parking. It's just like having your own free parking space. Haha.
So parking was a breeze, surprisingly. There were a boat-load of people there la with the Great Singapore Sale and everything. So then I messaged Lekha asking her if she's gone out shopping. Ha.. She stayed home cos of the crowd. Funny la she. She's avoided Causeway Point too just cos it's crowded then I remembered once she messaged me at about 5 in the evening: 'Boy! Guess where I am? CAUSEWAY POINT! Haha..you were right. Not too many people.' I almost fell on the floor laughing.
We got there about 7 so most everyone were either having dinner or queueing up for dinner. We decided to skip it till later and just take advantage of the lull to go shopping. I didnt have the urge to spend on anything so I just walked around pretty much just following my mum as she shopped. She was looking for a new bag to bring to work so I just tried on a few samples to show her what it'll look like. Must've cracked up a few customers with my antics. Haha. We went to Guess and Tangs where she bought a shoe before she found a bag she liked. Haha.
So after paying for the purchases, we headed to this counter to apply for some Tangs lifestyle card or something cos my mum used her credit card to pay and there was this sweet little girl at the counter playing with the laptop. Initially, she was quite...erm, inattentive. So we just filled up the form and stuff but then it seems like she had a change of heart when she explained the terms to us. But that wasn't the thing; the card belongs to my mother; the details on the form were my mothers; but she kept staring at me while she was explaining the terms. And she had this cute smile..Haha. But she seems abit too young ah. Or maybe it's because she's small-sized, I mean, I stand at about 1.85m; she barely reached my chest. Haha. Cute.
So anyway after shopping and stuff, we walked to GV to see if there were any good shows. And I SOOO wanted to watch Indy Jones but the tickets for earlier shows were sold out. So we settled for a 1020 one, 2 rows from the front. I was just about prepared to have my neck strained.
Suddenly, just as we were walking away from the box office, we saw this group of youth running towards one of the exits. So being the 'Concerned Citizen' that I am, me and my mum followed them. As we were making our way out, a security guard rushed past us in their direction so I knew something good must be going down. Haha. We made the pretence of enjoying the night breeze while watching the group from afar. At first it was only us and a few other people but then many more came to join us and soon it was a spectacle. Couldn't figure out what was happening though but I think one of the group must have shoplifted or broke something from a shop cos just as we left, a Samsung employee walked past us to join the security guard.
So then we decided to try Earle Swensens. Turns out it's exactly like Swensens but with a much 'Up' decor. Haha. I had the tenderloin steak with baked potato and season vegetables (tell you more about this). Initially we thought the prices were abit extravagant but then we realised that for some of the meals, including steaks, seafood and chicken, it comes with a free-flow of the salad bar, so it was pretty worth it. Oh and my season vegetables? Apprently they refer to Singaporean seasons cos they served me taugeh, peas in a pod and a cherry tomato cooked in the steak's juices. Mum had clam chowder in a bread bowl and my salad tab.
So then, when my steak finally came, it turned out the chef hadn't made it as well-done as I had wanted and he just slapped on an 'oh-so-obvious-I-came-out-of-a-small-plastic-container' slab of herb butter on my cold steak. So I sent it back asking him to reheat the piece of meat until the butter was melted. And the second time around, it was perfect. Oh and before I sent it back, I had placed my vegetables on my mum's plate and when I got it back, there were more taugehs, peas and tomatoes. Haha. Only this time they were raw. =P
We sat and talked about lots of stuff. Just as we were finishing up our meal, the family at the table next to ours had asked the waitress to take a photo of them. Ok, I have this streak where I like to just include myself in photos of random strangers. So just as the waitress was about to snap the photo, I turned to face the camera and gave the biggest smile I could muster. Haha. The waitress could not help herself and just started giggling like crazy but the family was none-the-wiser. =)
Ok, on to the movie. Indy Jones is a must-watch if you love the genre. But I must warn you that the premise for the show is abit laughable and thin. If you want a hint: it has something to do with movies Spielberg once did involving flying bicycles and more prevalently, what Lucas is famous for. But it was a fun ride. Shia LeBouf was hunky and pulled off his character well. But you know who stole the show for me? Cate Blanchett. Haha. I suddenly have a fetish for women with perfect bobs. She was amazing..her cheekbones seemed like they were gonna pop out of the screen. =)
So after the movie, it was already 1 so we headed back. Woke up at 7 this morning to fetch my dad and go watch the dance of the makcik carts. Haha. Will blog on that in the next entry. =)
I rarely get to go out with just my mum these days cos of her work and my sister's insistence of coming down from the other end of the island just so she can tag along so yesterday was the perfect time for us to enjoy just a mother-son kinda night. I don't really mind if my sister tags along. It's just that she makes the whole outing her-centered so I don't really appreciate that.
So we started off with our search for a carpark lot in our favourite mall, Vivocity. A tip for frequent visitors; use your receipt for purchases to earn free parking fees at Vivocity. Just bring your receipts and the number on your IU unit (the number on the top of the IU) to the reception counter on Level 2, outside the Nokia shop and they'll convert your purchases to free parking. I spent close to a $1000 in August-September last year so we got about $100 worth of free parking. It's just like having your own free parking space. Haha.
So parking was a breeze, surprisingly. There were a boat-load of people there la with the Great Singapore Sale and everything. So then I messaged Lekha asking her if she's gone out shopping. Ha.. She stayed home cos of the crowd. Funny la she. She's avoided Causeway Point too just cos it's crowded then I remembered once she messaged me at about 5 in the evening: 'Boy! Guess where I am? CAUSEWAY POINT! Haha..you were right. Not too many people.' I almost fell on the floor laughing.
We got there about 7 so most everyone were either having dinner or queueing up for dinner. We decided to skip it till later and just take advantage of the lull to go shopping. I didnt have the urge to spend on anything so I just walked around pretty much just following my mum as she shopped. She was looking for a new bag to bring to work so I just tried on a few samples to show her what it'll look like. Must've cracked up a few customers with my antics. Haha. We went to Guess and Tangs where she bought a shoe before she found a bag she liked. Haha.
So after paying for the purchases, we headed to this counter to apply for some Tangs lifestyle card or something cos my mum used her credit card to pay and there was this sweet little girl at the counter playing with the laptop. Initially, she was quite...erm, inattentive. So we just filled up the form and stuff but then it seems like she had a change of heart when she explained the terms to us. But that wasn't the thing; the card belongs to my mother; the details on the form were my mothers; but she kept staring at me while she was explaining the terms. And she had this cute smile..Haha. But she seems abit too young ah. Or maybe it's because she's small-sized, I mean, I stand at about 1.85m; she barely reached my chest. Haha. Cute.
So anyway after shopping and stuff, we walked to GV to see if there were any good shows. And I SOOO wanted to watch Indy Jones but the tickets for earlier shows were sold out. So we settled for a 1020 one, 2 rows from the front. I was just about prepared to have my neck strained.
Suddenly, just as we were walking away from the box office, we saw this group of youth running towards one of the exits. So being the 'Concerned Citizen' that I am, me and my mum followed them. As we were making our way out, a security guard rushed past us in their direction so I knew something good must be going down. Haha. We made the pretence of enjoying the night breeze while watching the group from afar. At first it was only us and a few other people but then many more came to join us and soon it was a spectacle. Couldn't figure out what was happening though but I think one of the group must have shoplifted or broke something from a shop cos just as we left, a Samsung employee walked past us to join the security guard.
So then we decided to try Earle Swensens. Turns out it's exactly like Swensens but with a much 'Up' decor. Haha. I had the tenderloin steak with baked potato and season vegetables (tell you more about this). Initially we thought the prices were abit extravagant but then we realised that for some of the meals, including steaks, seafood and chicken, it comes with a free-flow of the salad bar, so it was pretty worth it. Oh and my season vegetables? Apprently they refer to Singaporean seasons cos they served me taugeh, peas in a pod and a cherry tomato cooked in the steak's juices. Mum had clam chowder in a bread bowl and my salad tab.
So then, when my steak finally came, it turned out the chef hadn't made it as well-done as I had wanted and he just slapped on an 'oh-so-obvious-I-came-out-of-a-small-plastic-container' slab of herb butter on my cold steak. So I sent it back asking him to reheat the piece of meat until the butter was melted. And the second time around, it was perfect. Oh and before I sent it back, I had placed my vegetables on my mum's plate and when I got it back, there were more taugehs, peas and tomatoes. Haha. Only this time they were raw. =P
We sat and talked about lots of stuff. Just as we were finishing up our meal, the family at the table next to ours had asked the waitress to take a photo of them. Ok, I have this streak where I like to just include myself in photos of random strangers. So just as the waitress was about to snap the photo, I turned to face the camera and gave the biggest smile I could muster. Haha. The waitress could not help herself and just started giggling like crazy but the family was none-the-wiser. =)
Ok, on to the movie. Indy Jones is a must-watch if you love the genre. But I must warn you that the premise for the show is abit laughable and thin. If you want a hint: it has something to do with movies Spielberg once did involving flying bicycles and more prevalently, what Lucas is famous for. But it was a fun ride. Shia LeBouf was hunky and pulled off his character well. But you know who stole the show for me? Cate Blanchett. Haha. I suddenly have a fetish for women with perfect bobs. She was amazing..her cheekbones seemed like they were gonna pop out of the screen. =)
So after the movie, it was already 1 so we headed back. Woke up at 7 this morning to fetch my dad and go watch the dance of the makcik carts. Haha. Will blog on that in the next entry. =)
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Act 5, Scene 3: The 5:41 Ode to Victory
*mute*
Face covered. Heart hoping. The rain had brought one of the warriors down unceremoniously. Will it do it again?
Anger. Stupidity in pausing. Curses.
An old warrior steps up. Face not betraying the fear he must be feeling inside. Why does the rain seem to come down harder?
*mute*
Face covered again. Eyes closed. 'Let it pass,' I think, 'It hasn't been taken yet.'
*unmute*
"It is Red in Moscow!"
Eyes wide open. The vanquisher rejoices; both arms thrust wide open. The vanquished can only look down in disbelief. As his eyes travel upwards, it does not seem capable of fixating on anything. His whole world has crumbled.
The best thing a neutral could ask for has happened. The world heaves a sigh of relief that once again it is proven that money cannot, no, WILL not buy glory.
On that rain trodden field, far away where the rain must be falling like needles of ice, only emptiness must be felt inside them. 'Maybe next year,' they must be thinking.
But for the victors, the vanquishers, the heroes. Once again they have proven themselves. Even when everyone questioned the chosen ones. Yet it came down to experience.
Congratulations.
Face covered. Heart hoping. The rain had brought one of the warriors down unceremoniously. Will it do it again?
Anger. Stupidity in pausing. Curses.
An old warrior steps up. Face not betraying the fear he must be feeling inside. Why does the rain seem to come down harder?
*mute*
Face covered again. Eyes closed. 'Let it pass,' I think, 'It hasn't been taken yet.'
*unmute*
"It is Red in Moscow!"
Eyes wide open. The vanquisher rejoices; both arms thrust wide open. The vanquished can only look down in disbelief. As his eyes travel upwards, it does not seem capable of fixating on anything. His whole world has crumbled.
The best thing a neutral could ask for has happened. The world heaves a sigh of relief that once again it is proven that money cannot, no, WILL not buy glory.
On that rain trodden field, far away where the rain must be falling like needles of ice, only emptiness must be felt inside them. 'Maybe next year,' they must be thinking.
But for the victors, the vanquishers, the heroes. Once again they have proven themselves. Even when everyone questioned the chosen ones. Yet it came down to experience.
Congratulations.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Act 5, Scene 2: Napping
I wanna start school! Gosh, how I hate holidays. I'm going crazy just trying to figure out what to do during this time.
This is what my typical week looks like:
Mon - Gym, 9 - 11
Lunch, 11 - 1
Tues - Tuition, 430 - 630
Wed - Repeat Monday
Thurs - Repeat Tuesday
Fri - Repeat Monday
Sat & Sun - Dependent on friends available
I'm like so dead in the head la right now. It's not like I have a shortage of friends but then again they've got their stuff going on. My best friend's a real estate agent so that means his schedule will never fit mine. Gosh...
Hmm, Princess is my other best friend. We talked things out and she knows where I am on this issue and I know where she wants to be on it too. I respect her wishes so we'll just see how things go.
Been making some new friends too. Been going to the gym with Sher where possible and hanging out during lunch talking about stuff. But other than that, I've pretty much waited for day-to-day offers from friends to go do stuff. Haha.
So anyway, woke up at 9-plus today to Princess's text inviting me to lunch. Haha. Doesn't happen very often cos she's pretty busy lately so it was a nice gesture. Had it at Eatzi (there is a previous entry about our first time at Eatzi in the first book). I tried out the beef burger while she had the chicken and mushroom baked rice. Also had our usual seafood in a pan. Haha. And we talked about stuff like the movie she watched recently. Sounds kinda nice but I wouldn't be caught watching it alone. People might just think I'm weird. Haha..not that they don't already.
Was a short lunch but it's been so long since I've seen her smile so it was very nice. Little things she does that makes me happy we're friends. =)
Was too hot to walk to the interchange so I grabbed a cab back. Haha. Lazy me, I know.
I've got tuition tomorrow. Think I might hit the gym in the morning to make up for today (gym's not open on public holidays). Then in the evening...PARTAAY! Haha. Thanks Sher for inviting me to the BBQ. So yea. That's pretty much it for this week.
Ooh..Shukor (my best friend) and I checked out flights and hotels for Bali. We're probably going next 17th - 21st. It's Tuesday to Saturday but at least we'll get a Friday night to hit the nightspots. Haha. Had to convince the bugger to go. He was afraid there wouldn't be Halal food there. So I told him we'll go fishing and cook our own meals if that's what it takes. Man...I didn't think there was a more paranoid person than me. =P So anyway, if all goes well, we're off for a holiday before I start my term. WooHoo... =)
This is what my typical week looks like:
Mon - Gym, 9 - 11
Lunch, 11 - 1
Tues - Tuition, 430 - 630
Wed - Repeat Monday
Thurs - Repeat Tuesday
Fri - Repeat Monday
Sat & Sun - Dependent on friends available
I'm like so dead in the head la right now. It's not like I have a shortage of friends but then again they've got their stuff going on. My best friend's a real estate agent so that means his schedule will never fit mine. Gosh...
Hmm, Princess is my other best friend. We talked things out and she knows where I am on this issue and I know where she wants to be on it too. I respect her wishes so we'll just see how things go.
Been making some new friends too. Been going to the gym with Sher where possible and hanging out during lunch talking about stuff. But other than that, I've pretty much waited for day-to-day offers from friends to go do stuff. Haha.
So anyway, woke up at 9-plus today to Princess's text inviting me to lunch. Haha. Doesn't happen very often cos she's pretty busy lately so it was a nice gesture. Had it at Eatzi (there is a previous entry about our first time at Eatzi in the first book). I tried out the beef burger while she had the chicken and mushroom baked rice. Also had our usual seafood in a pan. Haha. And we talked about stuff like the movie she watched recently. Sounds kinda nice but I wouldn't be caught watching it alone. People might just think I'm weird. Haha..not that they don't already.
Was a short lunch but it's been so long since I've seen her smile so it was very nice. Little things she does that makes me happy we're friends. =)
Was too hot to walk to the interchange so I grabbed a cab back. Haha. Lazy me, I know.
I've got tuition tomorrow. Think I might hit the gym in the morning to make up for today (gym's not open on public holidays). Then in the evening...PARTAAY! Haha. Thanks Sher for inviting me to the BBQ. So yea. That's pretty much it for this week.
Ooh..Shukor (my best friend) and I checked out flights and hotels for Bali. We're probably going next 17th - 21st. It's Tuesday to Saturday but at least we'll get a Friday night to hit the nightspots. Haha. Had to convince the bugger to go. He was afraid there wouldn't be Halal food there. So I told him we'll go fishing and cook our own meals if that's what it takes. Man...I didn't think there was a more paranoid person than me. =P So anyway, if all goes well, we're off for a holiday before I start my term. WooHoo... =)
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Act 5, Scene 1: When 'when's change to 'if's.
I've finished watching the whole series of HIMYM to date. And I gotta say, as the series progresses,
1) Lily's hair keeps getting more amazing.
2) Ted's and Robin's hair gets crappier.
3) Marshall's gonna join Ted and Robin with crappy hair soon.
4) Barney is still AWESOME.
Also, I don't know why but Ted's character gets so frustratingly annoying. In the first season, he seemed so genuine and sincere about his intentions when he goes out to meet women. But in season 2, when he and Robin are together, it just didn't seem convincing that they were in love; not like Marshall and Lily. And in season 3, when he totally bums out and his hair looks like it's not been washed in months, he is just excruciating to watch. I understand the writers' intention to make him more like Barney, but if he isn't wearing a suit, he just can't pull off the lines cos he looks like some homeless man.
So anyway, new episodes are being aired every Monday over in the States so I usually watch mine on Tuesdays. =) I really really hope this sitcom goes on for years to come. And if it doesn't, I'm gonna buy the DVD set and watch it over and over again.
I want to believe I am getting better. Spiritually, emotionally, physically. But the more I think about the things I am striving to change and the reasons behind my efforts, the more disheartened I become. And I cannot turn to the one person I always turn to.
Cos she's not there anymore.
When 'when's change to 'if's. Think about it. The difference between the two. Same difference as 'hearing' and 'understanding'. When we HEAR, we listen to the sounds that another person makes. It is the basic form of communication where the speaker conveys his or her ideas to the listener. But it stops there. There is no internalisation on the part of the listener and no self-decryption of said ideas.
When we UNDERSTAND, we do all of the above, with the added bonus of forming our own understanding of what is being said. What's the difference you ask? How many of you have sat in a lecture, thinking you understand but realising after, that you had just sat through a blank 2 hour period of your life? Understand?
When we are close to someone, we always say, 'I am here for you WHEN you need me.' Because you make yourself exclusively present for the person when they need you. But as you grow apart, the 'when' changes to an 'if'. E.g. 'I am here for you IF you need me.' The person has the option of turning to you but it is no longer exclusive; like as friends do. You, on the other hand, expect the person to not consider you as the first choice to be 'turned-to'; for there is someone else that has taken that place in their lives.
When things don't work out, the biggest fear I have is not having the strength to accept that things cannot and will not work out. And because I lack this strength, I tend to go back on my decisions alot.
I don't wanna say too much. But a song does spring into my mind about what I've done. It's a pretty old song.
Just the chorus reflects what I am feeling.
In conclusion,
"And it's okay if you have to go away;
Just remember, the telephone works both ways.
And if I never ever hear it ring,
If nothing else, I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay;
Cause I'll remember everything you sang."
I'll always remember everything you sang, Princess.
1) Lily's hair keeps getting more amazing.
2) Ted's and Robin's hair gets crappier.
3) Marshall's gonna join Ted and Robin with crappy hair soon.
4) Barney is still AWESOME.
Also, I don't know why but Ted's character gets so frustratingly annoying. In the first season, he seemed so genuine and sincere about his intentions when he goes out to meet women. But in season 2, when he and Robin are together, it just didn't seem convincing that they were in love; not like Marshall and Lily. And in season 3, when he totally bums out and his hair looks like it's not been washed in months, he is just excruciating to watch. I understand the writers' intention to make him more like Barney, but if he isn't wearing a suit, he just can't pull off the lines cos he looks like some homeless man.
So anyway, new episodes are being aired every Monday over in the States so I usually watch mine on Tuesdays. =) I really really hope this sitcom goes on for years to come. And if it doesn't, I'm gonna buy the DVD set and watch it over and over again.
I want to believe I am getting better. Spiritually, emotionally, physically. But the more I think about the things I am striving to change and the reasons behind my efforts, the more disheartened I become. And I cannot turn to the one person I always turn to.
Cos she's not there anymore.
When 'when's change to 'if's. Think about it. The difference between the two. Same difference as 'hearing' and 'understanding'. When we HEAR, we listen to the sounds that another person makes. It is the basic form of communication where the speaker conveys his or her ideas to the listener. But it stops there. There is no internalisation on the part of the listener and no self-decryption of said ideas.
When we UNDERSTAND, we do all of the above, with the added bonus of forming our own understanding of what is being said. What's the difference you ask? How many of you have sat in a lecture, thinking you understand but realising after, that you had just sat through a blank 2 hour period of your life? Understand?
When we are close to someone, we always say, 'I am here for you WHEN you need me.' Because you make yourself exclusively present for the person when they need you. But as you grow apart, the 'when' changes to an 'if'. E.g. 'I am here for you IF you need me.' The person has the option of turning to you but it is no longer exclusive; like as friends do. You, on the other hand, expect the person to not consider you as the first choice to be 'turned-to'; for there is someone else that has taken that place in their lives.
When things don't work out, the biggest fear I have is not having the strength to accept that things cannot and will not work out. And because I lack this strength, I tend to go back on my decisions alot.
I don't wanna say too much. But a song does spring into my mind about what I've done. It's a pretty old song.
Just the chorus reflects what I am feeling.
In conclusion,
"And it's okay if you have to go away;
Just remember, the telephone works both ways.
And if I never ever hear it ring,
If nothing else, I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay;
Cause I'll remember everything you sang."
I'll always remember everything you sang, Princess.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Act 4, Scene 8: I'm too young to worry
Had a really bad time at gym on Friday. Didn't manage to complete my run for no apparent reason. I felt I could not keep my timing consistent and just gave up. Was so pissed with myself. Maybe was due to the cold I was nursing the day before. Hai..
Worse still; on Monday, I didn't even go to the gym. This was what happened:
7.03 a.m.
*KNOCK* (I sleep with my door closed)
Woke up, suddenly, heart beating so quickly cos of the shock of being woken so suddenly. Walked groggily to the door and opened it.
'Azlan, kau pergi hantar kereta pergi servicing eh? Abah kasi duit.' (Azlan, you go send the car for servicing. I'll give you the cash.)
In my half-awaken state, pissed off like nobody's business, 'Yea la...'
So then had to message Sher and tell him I'm not going. Was feeling so f-ed up la. Hai... I've no problem running errands, but just don't ask me to when I'm half-awake ah and all of a sudden. But you know what's the best part? After waking me up and giving me only FIVE minutes to get ready, father starts nagging; asking me to get ready faster so I can send my mum to work before sending the car for servicing. I was like, 'WTF?! You can just sit there and give orders. You're so free, go and send her la then come back and I'll send the car for servicing.' But did he? NOOOO....So no time for cologne, no time for combing my hair...think I might've shouted if I didn't leave the house.
On the way down my mum asked me why he asked me to go since he said he was gonna do it. I told her the story of how he said I couldn't use the car on Friday cos he wanted to do it. But he didn't. And of how, on Saturday, he asked me to do it in the afternoon, knowing that on a weekend, the shop's full. And how again he will do it on Monday....and end up with me having to do it.
I've no problem with it just that it interfered with my plan. That's all. So I went to send the car in. Arrived early at 815 and the place was still closed. So I parked in front of the workshop, sat at some chairs and waited. Finally opened around 845 and I handed over the keys. Was told that it was time for some major servicing that was gonna take 4-5 hours. So I said, 'Take your time' and walked off.
Walked all the way to Junction 8. Thought maybe I could catch a movie like the last time but found out that all the movies started at 12 which is about the time the car is done. So bought some newspapers, sat at Macs, walked around Junction 8, bought earphones, read books at Popular, was just about to head back when I saw Coffee Bean. Since I haven't had Coffee Bean for some time, decided to pop in for a cuppa.
Then, it started raining. Haha. Right on cue..
So there was this period when I was in Coffee Bean which I don't exactly remember. But I took a cab back to where I needed to be (and the cab driver thought I was a fruitcake and tried to take me for a ride by taking the scenic route until I told him I knew exactly where the place was and to shut up and just get me there; I was still pissed cos I didn't get to watch my movie..=P). The bill for the car came up to $448. Haha. But everything runs nicely now. Got a free umbrella too.
I finally have a tuition assignment all thanks to Princess. =) Today's the first lesson. Every Tuesday and Thursday. Hmm, haven't taught for so long. But extra income is always welcomed. Haha.
Hopefully tomorrow's gonna be ok for gym. HOPEFULLY. I need to pump man..It's been 4 days. I feel so weak.
ARGH!
Worse still; on Monday, I didn't even go to the gym. This was what happened:
7.03 a.m.
*KNOCK* (I sleep with my door closed)
Woke up, suddenly, heart beating so quickly cos of the shock of being woken so suddenly. Walked groggily to the door and opened it.
'Azlan, kau pergi hantar kereta pergi servicing eh? Abah kasi duit.' (Azlan, you go send the car for servicing. I'll give you the cash.)
In my half-awaken state, pissed off like nobody's business, 'Yea la...'
So then had to message Sher and tell him I'm not going. Was feeling so f-ed up la. Hai... I've no problem running errands, but just don't ask me to when I'm half-awake ah and all of a sudden. But you know what's the best part? After waking me up and giving me only FIVE minutes to get ready, father starts nagging; asking me to get ready faster so I can send my mum to work before sending the car for servicing. I was like, 'WTF?! You can just sit there and give orders. You're so free, go and send her la then come back and I'll send the car for servicing.' But did he? NOOOO....So no time for cologne, no time for combing my hair...think I might've shouted if I didn't leave the house.
On the way down my mum asked me why he asked me to go since he said he was gonna do it. I told her the story of how he said I couldn't use the car on Friday cos he wanted to do it. But he didn't. And of how, on Saturday, he asked me to do it in the afternoon, knowing that on a weekend, the shop's full. And how again he will do it on Monday....and end up with me having to do it.
I've no problem with it just that it interfered with my plan. That's all. So I went to send the car in. Arrived early at 815 and the place was still closed. So I parked in front of the workshop, sat at some chairs and waited. Finally opened around 845 and I handed over the keys. Was told that it was time for some major servicing that was gonna take 4-5 hours. So I said, 'Take your time' and walked off.
Walked all the way to Junction 8. Thought maybe I could catch a movie like the last time but found out that all the movies started at 12 which is about the time the car is done. So bought some newspapers, sat at Macs, walked around Junction 8, bought earphones, read books at Popular, was just about to head back when I saw Coffee Bean. Since I haven't had Coffee Bean for some time, decided to pop in for a cuppa.
Then, it started raining. Haha. Right on cue..
So there was this period when I was in Coffee Bean which I don't exactly remember. But I took a cab back to where I needed to be (and the cab driver thought I was a fruitcake and tried to take me for a ride by taking the scenic route until I told him I knew exactly where the place was and to shut up and just get me there; I was still pissed cos I didn't get to watch my movie..=P). The bill for the car came up to $448. Haha. But everything runs nicely now. Got a free umbrella too.
I finally have a tuition assignment all thanks to Princess. =) Today's the first lesson. Every Tuesday and Thursday. Hmm, haven't taught for so long. But extra income is always welcomed. Haha.
Hopefully tomorrow's gonna be ok for gym. HOPEFULLY. I need to pump man..It's been 4 days. I feel so weak.
ARGH!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Act 4, Scene 7: 5% Pleasure, 50% Pain
In case you're wondering if I screwed up the numbering of the entries, I didn't. Scene 3 is a hidden entry which was published in a window of 3 hours. I decided against it being a permanent entry but due to its significance, I have credited it. In future, I have a feeling it will make an appearance.
Anyway, was listening to Power 98's Total Recall with DJ Sebastien. I gotta say KUDOS to DA MAN! Ha. Here's the list of songs that were deemed Top 5 songs from movies (tonight's theme):
5) Footloose (From Footloose starring Kevin Bacon (Ok if the young 'uns don't know him, he was in that invisible man movie going around raping people))
4) Bohemian Rhapsody (From Wayne's World - Abso-fucking-lutely man! My favourite song from my favourite band, QUEEN!)
3) Stand By Me (From Stand By Me; the movie about the group of boys who go on an adventure to find a corpse thus discovering the true meaning of their friendship starring the late River Phoenix, brother of Joaquin Phoenix)
2) Unchained Melody (From Ghost; the uber-erotic movie starring Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. Especially the scene of pottery-making, which, according to DJ Sebastien, 'made alot of people take up clay-art'. Haha..)
AND THE WINNER IS....
Undoubtedly....
Deservedly....
The work out song of many aspiring boxers....
One of my motivational songs...
NO. 1...
1) Eye of the Tiger (From Rocky 3! Starring Sylvester Stallone and Mr. T! I pity you, FOOL! Hahahahaha)
Haha. I love Queen. Okok... I love Freddie Mercury too but I'm not gay. I just love his performances. Here's a sneak peek at a concert they had at a time when I couldn't understand. Correction - It was 3 days before Princess was born...2 months before I was. =(
In case you still don't know, Freddie is the guy with the moustache playing the piano. Look at how he performs. Listen to his voice... Hai... Best performer ever. This was at Live Aid...you remember a few years ago we had Live Earth, well this was the beginning. Bob Geldof is there. Haha.
Moving on... =P
I was wearing my bermudas today. And for no apparent reason, I realised I was slouching to keep them from dropping. Haha. I still have a tummy la. But it's gone down a tad. Haha. So happy. So running 5 km every alternate day does help! Now that's what I call progression. =)
Nothing much happened today. Was very tired though. I gotta stop watching my HIMYM episodes late into the night. Hai.. Wish I could but I am just so in love with it. Someone please save me!
Ooh. Princess looked lovely today. =)
Guess that's about it. Haha. Another 5 km tomorrow so I gotta go rest. Nights Peeps!
Anyway, was listening to Power 98's Total Recall with DJ Sebastien. I gotta say KUDOS to DA MAN! Ha. Here's the list of songs that were deemed Top 5 songs from movies (tonight's theme):
5) Footloose (From Footloose starring Kevin Bacon (Ok if the young 'uns don't know him, he was in that invisible man movie going around raping people))
4) Bohemian Rhapsody (From Wayne's World - Abso-fucking-lutely man! My favourite song from my favourite band, QUEEN!)
3) Stand By Me (From Stand By Me; the movie about the group of boys who go on an adventure to find a corpse thus discovering the true meaning of their friendship starring the late River Phoenix, brother of Joaquin Phoenix)
2) Unchained Melody (From Ghost; the uber-erotic movie starring Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. Especially the scene of pottery-making, which, according to DJ Sebastien, 'made alot of people take up clay-art'. Haha..)
AND THE WINNER IS....
Undoubtedly....
Deservedly....
The work out song of many aspiring boxers....
One of my motivational songs...
NO. 1...
1) Eye of the Tiger (From Rocky 3! Starring Sylvester Stallone and Mr. T! I pity you, FOOL! Hahahahaha)
Haha. I love Queen. Okok... I love Freddie Mercury too but I'm not gay. I just love his performances. Here's a sneak peek at a concert they had at a time when I couldn't understand. Correction - It was 3 days before Princess was born...2 months before I was. =(
In case you still don't know, Freddie is the guy with the moustache playing the piano. Look at how he performs. Listen to his voice... Hai... Best performer ever. This was at Live Aid...you remember a few years ago we had Live Earth, well this was the beginning. Bob Geldof is there. Haha.
Moving on... =P
I was wearing my bermudas today. And for no apparent reason, I realised I was slouching to keep them from dropping. Haha. I still have a tummy la. But it's gone down a tad. Haha. So happy. So running 5 km every alternate day does help! Now that's what I call progression. =)
Nothing much happened today. Was very tired though. I gotta stop watching my HIMYM episodes late into the night. Hai.. Wish I could but I am just so in love with it. Someone please save me!
Ooh. Princess looked lovely today. =)
Guess that's about it. Haha. Another 5 km tomorrow so I gotta go rest. Nights Peeps!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Act 4, Scene 6: Progression
Had a very confusing morning. Woke up with a headache after staying up late to watch more episodes of HIMYM. Really didn't feel like going to the gym. About 9, it started raining. Gave me more reasons to not go.
But you know how people always say it's important to stick to your workout routine. If not, you'll start making excuses for future sessions. So I dragged myself out of bed. Watched TV while eating my morning oats before going to pick my dad up.
Reached gym at about 1030. Went in, looked around. IT WAS EMPTY! Hahaha. Was so happy so I started to change then played around with the radio while I was doing my stretches and warm-up. Recently, a study came out stating that it isn't vital and even hazardous in some cases to warm up before a physical activity. Something about runners running better when their muscles were cold and thus more suited to receiving the punishment of running. But I feel funny without having at least some stretches to tell my muscles that they're gonna be put thru their paces.
So then Sher came and he told me he forgot to bring his tshirt to workout. I had an extra so I passed it to him. I hopped on the treadmill for my cardio and off I went. I decided to change my goal for running this time around so instead of keying in distance, I keyed in time: 20 minutes.
Then I keyed in the speed and off I went. Was feeling good about running so I increased the speed. Was pretty happy with myself cos the speed I am running at now is 2.4 km faster than when I first started out two weeks ago. So that was a progress. But what really surprised me was that I was not out of breath while running. And I managed to shave off 2 minutes for the same distance I ran last week, which is a mile. So I was really happy about that. So since I had keyed in the time, the machine won't stop until the time was up so I happily ran some more. And in the end, I got in 2.7 km, inclusive of a 100m warm up at the beginning when I was walking. So I figured it'd take me about 17-18 minutes for a 2.6 km run. I know it's slow but it's a progress. Haha.
But I've been lax with my weight training lately. But managed to do some work on the quadriceps, calves, deltoids and biceps.
Then I looked at my watch and it was 1150. Knowing that the aunties will be coming for their workout, I hopped on the treadmill for my second set of cardio. Instead of doing another time goal run, and confident that I can complete a 2.5 km run, I keyed in distance as the goal. And I did something different too. I took off my glasses. Haha. If you know me well enough, you'll know I'm practically blind without them but I was so frustrated with not being able to wipe my eyes while running so I took them off. Initially, when I first started running on the treadmill, I couldn't help looking down while I ran cos I was so scared of falling (actually I look down when I run outside of the treadmill too). But I was just so frustrated with trying to wipe sweat off my face that I took my glasses off, looked up, stared at the wall and just ran. And I realised that I should keep my chin up while I ran. Cos I looked down once and suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe properly. Haha.
Pretty soon all the aunties came in for their cardio. I had a young(? couldn't see la) lady on my right on the stairmaster, and on my left was an auntie (this one I know cos she always comes). So managed to clock in another 2.5 km for a grand total of 5 km ran today.
Then had lunch with Sher when we talked about NS. Haha. CD is a cess-pit for the 18 year old scum of the earth ah. Lunch was chicken cutlet noodle. If ever you're in NIE, please don't have it. Tasted like undercooked Maggi Mee on soy sauce. Almost puked man. But was hungry so I finished it la.
So yea. Turned out to be a good day actually even though I had that super confusing morning. Haha. Have to meet my Sup tomorrow at 130, gym Friday morning, bowling friday evening, soccer on Sunday. =) Looks like nice days coming up. Toodles.
Oh, here's a nice song I like to listen to while working out. =)
But you know how people always say it's important to stick to your workout routine. If not, you'll start making excuses for future sessions. So I dragged myself out of bed. Watched TV while eating my morning oats before going to pick my dad up.
Reached gym at about 1030. Went in, looked around. IT WAS EMPTY! Hahaha. Was so happy so I started to change then played around with the radio while I was doing my stretches and warm-up. Recently, a study came out stating that it isn't vital and even hazardous in some cases to warm up before a physical activity. Something about runners running better when their muscles were cold and thus more suited to receiving the punishment of running. But I feel funny without having at least some stretches to tell my muscles that they're gonna be put thru their paces.
So then Sher came and he told me he forgot to bring his tshirt to workout. I had an extra so I passed it to him. I hopped on the treadmill for my cardio and off I went. I decided to change my goal for running this time around so instead of keying in distance, I keyed in time: 20 minutes.
Then I keyed in the speed and off I went. Was feeling good about running so I increased the speed. Was pretty happy with myself cos the speed I am running at now is 2.4 km faster than when I first started out two weeks ago. So that was a progress. But what really surprised me was that I was not out of breath while running. And I managed to shave off 2 minutes for the same distance I ran last week, which is a mile. So I was really happy about that. So since I had keyed in the time, the machine won't stop until the time was up so I happily ran some more. And in the end, I got in 2.7 km, inclusive of a 100m warm up at the beginning when I was walking. So I figured it'd take me about 17-18 minutes for a 2.6 km run. I know it's slow but it's a progress. Haha.
But I've been lax with my weight training lately. But managed to do some work on the quadriceps, calves, deltoids and biceps.
Then I looked at my watch and it was 1150. Knowing that the aunties will be coming for their workout, I hopped on the treadmill for my second set of cardio. Instead of doing another time goal run, and confident that I can complete a 2.5 km run, I keyed in distance as the goal. And I did something different too. I took off my glasses. Haha. If you know me well enough, you'll know I'm practically blind without them but I was so frustrated with not being able to wipe my eyes while running so I took them off. Initially, when I first started running on the treadmill, I couldn't help looking down while I ran cos I was so scared of falling (actually I look down when I run outside of the treadmill too). But I was just so frustrated with trying to wipe sweat off my face that I took my glasses off, looked up, stared at the wall and just ran. And I realised that I should keep my chin up while I ran. Cos I looked down once and suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe properly. Haha.
Pretty soon all the aunties came in for their cardio. I had a young(? couldn't see la) lady on my right on the stairmaster, and on my left was an auntie (this one I know cos she always comes). So managed to clock in another 2.5 km for a grand total of 5 km ran today.
Then had lunch with Sher when we talked about NS. Haha. CD is a cess-pit for the 18 year old scum of the earth ah. Lunch was chicken cutlet noodle. If ever you're in NIE, please don't have it. Tasted like undercooked Maggi Mee on soy sauce. Almost puked man. But was hungry so I finished it la.
So yea. Turned out to be a good day actually even though I had that super confusing morning. Haha. Have to meet my Sup tomorrow at 130, gym Friday morning, bowling friday evening, soccer on Sunday. =) Looks like nice days coming up. Toodles.
Oh, here's a nice song I like to listen to while working out. =)
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Act 4, Scene 5: Time
Time has alot of meaning for this entry.
We'll begin by talking about the holidays. I've laid out my plans for the holidays in a previous blog entry and looking back on it, it involved alot of self-reflection and involvement on my part. But then I started to think, 'What about the other times when you're not at the gym, in the water or at the mosque?' I found it weird that I would be spending my two month holiday by myself. Then something amazing happened.
I was walking to the shop on Sunday night when I remembered a friend of mine had called me up a few days earlier but I hadn't called him back. So I did. And we talked for awhile before he suggested we meet up for a drink at the nearby coffeeshop. I didn't have any supper (Good ah, Princess? =) ) but we just sat with another friend of ours to talk and catch up on stuff. And the topic, inadvertently fell to girls. We're all in the same profession but at different stages of our careers and if you're in it, you know the turnover rate for new, fresh blood is constant. Just ask Princess. So we bla-bla-blahed ourselves till late and made plans for a bowling session this Friday so that I can meet the so-called 'new-blood'. Haha. Sounds like a set-up to me..oh well.
Then, when I got home, I got a call. It was close to 2 in the freaking morning. So I chose not to pick up. It was my buddy from JC, Matthew. Bugger always chooses odd times to call up people. So anyway he texted me after not getting through. And guess what? Soccer on Sunday evening. YES to that!
I'd already made plans to go to the gym on Monday so I hooked up with a new friend, Sher. He's considered new cos even though we've been in NIE for a year, I only got to know him this semester when we got to be in the same class. He had invited me to go to Bangkok with him and a few others but my finances for this month are a bit too tight so I had to turn him down. Would have loved to go though. Haha. So anyway on Monday, we had a nice day out together. Went to the gym, talked about girls in school, had lunch etc. Anyway NTU's closed down Canteen A and opened this new SUPER-COOL foodcourt-thingy. In a row, there was Mcdonald's, Subway and Old Chang Kee. I know NUS students are probably going, 'Yea...so?' But we've been deprived k? This is something new for us!
As we were both finishing up our routines, we got a text on our mobiles. It was from Sadik. Paintball on Tuesday... o_O Da Fuck?! When did I suddenly become so popular. Haha..Was really surprised lah suddenly my friends come up with all these cool ideas for fun. But unfortunately, I couldn't make it for the paintball session.
Since I was in the mood for friends, I started calling up my other friends. Got Shukor and he was planning a trip to Bali in June. Told him I was keen cos I could save up some cash til then. Anyway, he's rich now so I'm gonna play my 'best-friend' card and bleed some allowances from him. Like *hint-hint* AIR-TICKETS..Hahah. Anyway, if you guys are looking for a real-estate agent, hit me up. If you trust me, you can trust him. Cos if he screws you up, I promise you I'll screw him up. =P So anyway, that should be a near-confirmed trip. And I begged him not to ask the usual 'sisters' along. Hai..It's not that I'm against them. I just feel they're gonna cramp a couple of bachelors' style you know? They never let us tell the jokes we wanna or do the things we want. And if you know me, you know the jokes. =)
So now, my holidays are suddenly filled up with stuff for me to do. Bowling on Friday with some new people (more friends...YAAY!). Soccer on Sunday. Gym with Sher on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Bali trip in June. =) And I'm sure my weeks will slowly be filled up. But don't worry Princess, I'll always make time for you. =)
It's time to face up to what's happened. Things have been okay these past few days. But I just found out the truth to the distance between us. I would just like to apologise to Princess and make it CLEAR to everyone that she does not take advantage of me. I do what I do out of my sincere love and affection for her. She has her own way of showing appreciation but like I've said before; I would never trade her smile, laugh or just the opportunity to look into her eyes for anything on Earth. Time spent with her, talking to her and being on her mind is reward enough for me. And I believe that if I am sincere and respectful, I have done no wrong.
If anyone's reading this blog to find ammunition with which to sow seeds of discord, pray that I don't find out. Cos if I do, Hell will be the first place you will beg to be sent to.
Ok...got that out of my system. I'm scary, that way. Anyway, I hope to win back your trust, Princess. And be the one you turn to. Heck with what others say or think! We had, have and will always have a special connection in our friendship. I'm sorry I made you lose your trust in me. But let's work on finding it back again yea?
Hmm, well, time's up. Time to watch another episode of 'How I met your mother'. Hint: www.surfthechannel.com. Go catch it guys. You won't regret it!
=)
P.S. Please let our first 'flight' be with each other, Princess. Say yes to Friday k? =)
We'll begin by talking about the holidays. I've laid out my plans for the holidays in a previous blog entry and looking back on it, it involved alot of self-reflection and involvement on my part. But then I started to think, 'What about the other times when you're not at the gym, in the water or at the mosque?' I found it weird that I would be spending my two month holiday by myself. Then something amazing happened.
I was walking to the shop on Sunday night when I remembered a friend of mine had called me up a few days earlier but I hadn't called him back. So I did. And we talked for awhile before he suggested we meet up for a drink at the nearby coffeeshop. I didn't have any supper (Good ah, Princess? =) ) but we just sat with another friend of ours to talk and catch up on stuff. And the topic, inadvertently fell to girls. We're all in the same profession but at different stages of our careers and if you're in it, you know the turnover rate for new, fresh blood is constant. Just ask Princess. So we bla-bla-blahed ourselves till late and made plans for a bowling session this Friday so that I can meet the so-called 'new-blood'. Haha. Sounds like a set-up to me..oh well.
Then, when I got home, I got a call. It was close to 2 in the freaking morning. So I chose not to pick up. It was my buddy from JC, Matthew. Bugger always chooses odd times to call up people. So anyway he texted me after not getting through. And guess what? Soccer on Sunday evening. YES to that!
I'd already made plans to go to the gym on Monday so I hooked up with a new friend, Sher. He's considered new cos even though we've been in NIE for a year, I only got to know him this semester when we got to be in the same class. He had invited me to go to Bangkok with him and a few others but my finances for this month are a bit too tight so I had to turn him down. Would have loved to go though. Haha. So anyway on Monday, we had a nice day out together. Went to the gym, talked about girls in school, had lunch etc. Anyway NTU's closed down Canteen A and opened this new SUPER-COOL foodcourt-thingy. In a row, there was Mcdonald's, Subway and Old Chang Kee. I know NUS students are probably going, 'Yea...so?' But we've been deprived k? This is something new for us!
As we were both finishing up our routines, we got a text on our mobiles. It was from Sadik. Paintball on Tuesday... o_O Da Fuck?! When did I suddenly become so popular. Haha..Was really surprised lah suddenly my friends come up with all these cool ideas for fun. But unfortunately, I couldn't make it for the paintball session.
Since I was in the mood for friends, I started calling up my other friends. Got Shukor and he was planning a trip to Bali in June. Told him I was keen cos I could save up some cash til then. Anyway, he's rich now so I'm gonna play my 'best-friend' card and bleed some allowances from him. Like *hint-hint* AIR-TICKETS..Hahah. Anyway, if you guys are looking for a real-estate agent, hit me up. If you trust me, you can trust him. Cos if he screws you up, I promise you I'll screw him up. =P So anyway, that should be a near-confirmed trip. And I begged him not to ask the usual 'sisters' along. Hai..It's not that I'm against them. I just feel they're gonna cramp a couple of bachelors' style you know? They never let us tell the jokes we wanna or do the things we want. And if you know me, you know the jokes. =)
So now, my holidays are suddenly filled up with stuff for me to do. Bowling on Friday with some new people (more friends...YAAY!). Soccer on Sunday. Gym with Sher on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Bali trip in June. =) And I'm sure my weeks will slowly be filled up. But don't worry Princess, I'll always make time for you. =)
It's time to face up to what's happened. Things have been okay these past few days. But I just found out the truth to the distance between us. I would just like to apologise to Princess and make it CLEAR to everyone that she does not take advantage of me. I do what I do out of my sincere love and affection for her. She has her own way of showing appreciation but like I've said before; I would never trade her smile, laugh or just the opportunity to look into her eyes for anything on Earth. Time spent with her, talking to her and being on her mind is reward enough for me. And I believe that if I am sincere and respectful, I have done no wrong.
If anyone's reading this blog to find ammunition with which to sow seeds of discord, pray that I don't find out. Cos if I do, Hell will be the first place you will beg to be sent to.
Ok...got that out of my system. I'm scary, that way. Anyway, I hope to win back your trust, Princess. And be the one you turn to. Heck with what others say or think! We had, have and will always have a special connection in our friendship. I'm sorry I made you lose your trust in me. But let's work on finding it back again yea?
Hmm, well, time's up. Time to watch another episode of 'How I met your mother'. Hint: www.surfthechannel.com. Go catch it guys. You won't regret it!
=)
P.S. Please let our first 'flight' be with each other, Princess. Say yes to Friday k? =)
Monday, May 5, 2008
Act 4, Scene 4: The 'Oh' moment
Have been watching How I met your Mother episodes online. I seriously think this could easily replace Friends as my favourite sitcom. Maybe because Friends was before my time and this is current. But if I had to choose ONE reason for watching this show, let this be it:
Cobie Smulders.
See.
*melts*
She's so hot...Okok, that's subjective but then again she possesses this 'girl-next-door' aura. Hai...
Go watch it if you've got Cable on Star World every weekday at 530 pm. If not, find a streaming website online. You won't regret it! =)
Cobie Smulders.
See.
*melts*
She's so hot...Okok, that's subjective but then again she possesses this 'girl-next-door' aura. Hai...
Go watch it if you've got Cable on Star World every weekday at 530 pm. If not, find a streaming website online. You won't regret it! =)
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Act 4, Scene 2: A joke
That's exactly what this Semester has become. Haha. Here's Semester-in-Review (SiR) for 2nd semester of my first year. I know it's abit early since results aren't even out yet but I have a good feeling what I predict in the following lines is what I deserve.
Semester started in January with purely Curriculum Studies(CS) and Subject Knowledge(SK) modules/courses. So there were 2 each for the 2 subjects I'm studying to teach i.e. 1 CS and 1 SK for English and 1 CS and 1 SK for Math. Then there was the English for Academic and Professional Purposes (EAPP) module which was compulsory in spite of all the rumours. Haha. So that's like what? 5 modules? Hmm, some people had 7.
Let's do this by subject. For the EAPP one, well, I think I'm gonna suck and get at the very best, a B. I have this deficiency where I can master a skill but when asked to explain or understand its mechanisms, I'm lost. So that's a gone-case scenario. I felt I did badly (in fact I did, I got a low B nearing a C) for the assignment. My format was all wrong; I didn't answer the questions concisely..Hai..That is, at best, a bad memory.
Moving on, Math. Ok, for the SK one, I've got no excuse. This is totally my bad. It was a mixture of my complacency, indifference and a little to do with the change in learning style. Don't get me wrong, my tutor's a great guy. He explains and reviews profusely with us. But I just felt that a little change in his style this semester made me complacent and indifferent. But it's totally my fault. I hardly studied or did the tutorials. I didn't listen during lessons. I talked and surfed the net in class. All the things which could lead me to downfall, I did. =( But I did try my very best for the final exam. Was really nervous so I went to the gym in the morning to sweat out my fear (think I blogged about it earlier). So for this module, I'd give myself, at best also, another B. I doubt I can get a B+ even. Might even get another C.
CS was worst. If I get a B- for this one, I would be more than happy. I totally screwed up my presentation by doing the wrong topic and *insert a worse phrase than totally screwed up* my test. I failed TWO math tests this semester. One in SK and one in CS. Hai.. So for this one, I'd project a C or C-. Let's not talk about it further. I just wanna bury this one. (Oh and I did an 18 page Lesson Plan for this one)
Finally, English. Supposedly my best subject when I was in school, I could have done Higher English if it was offered. Haha. But this has been a roller-coaster semester for my best subject, although there were more dives than ascendences. SK was rough. We had two assignments to do, I scored a B- for one. I was expecting it because I forgot to decorate the piece. But I totally felt that my choice of text was appropriate. I dunno why he scored me so badly then. Think combined with the exam, I'd get a B.
CS was a tad better. I volunteered to be class rep after a tense 5-minute Mexican standoff between my tutor and the indifferent class. Haha. I kinda enjoy watching the verbal sparring we have each week and being the class rep, I get to sit quietly in my corner and not get asked too many questions. Haha. Though, I did build up a sizeable dislike for myself because of the preferential treatment I got. But then they had a chance to volunteer to be class rep and they didnt, so is it my fault? =P Anyway, I had lots of chances to do what I was best at in this module and I really liked it. I had lots of chances to act and present. =) And I got my role as a fat, bumbling burglar down to a 'T'. And I also had a chance to use my English skills to con my way out of alot of presentations. Basically, if you wanna survive in this module, learn these two skills: paraphrasing and speaking with confidence. Maintain EYE CONTACT with your audience at all time, even if you're getting the sh*t scared out of you. If they see that confidence, they will probably think the words coming out of your mouth make sense instead of just being a load of horse-crap, which in my case, was. Cos everything I was telling them came out of the book, just in a different phrase or word structure. Haha. Best grade, a B+, I think.
So my GPA is probably gonna lie between 2.5 and 3. Hai..I'm so gonna suck la. I had a 3.75 GPA in the first semester with straight As for my SK Math. =(
Ok, so what was the problem then? Why did this happen? And why did I allow this to happen?
I think my first major mistake was my complacency. This is something I have experienced before and luckily, I had time back then, to make amends. So I shall have to overcome this problem in my next semester.
Secondly, I didn't set aside enough time to understand and practise what I was doing. As compared to the first semester, the time I had spent on my work this semester would not even be a quarter of the time I spent last semester. Hai..
Thirdly, I was too distracted by everything that was going on around me. In the first semester, I had something to prove to myself and this problem can be linked to the first one; complacency. Maybe feeling that I had already proven myself for the first semester, I could take a break in this one. But I was wrong and I've paid for it. Like I always told Dzuhri, my eye was not on the prize. In fact, I had totally lost sight of it sometimes.
I also noticed a shift in my priorities this semester. A bad shift. I was hanging out with friends too much; I wasn't paying attention; and I didn't study. Religiously, I also stopped praying in school, alot. I used to pray daily in school but this semester, I kept making excuses that I would go home and pray after school ends at 1130-1230 on most days but end up hanging out with friends or sleeping when I got home. I really felt lost sometimes and I miss the serenity I felt when I sat in the musollah for hours on end during my break either reading the Yaasin or the Quran. Hai... I know that this debt will have to be settled between God and me. But I also remember a Khutbah (Friday sermon) I heard once that said that we should never give up on finding our way back to Islam and that God will never close the door of our hearts to finding its way back. =) This shall be my motivation.
So then the last question is: What are you going to do to better yourself?
This holiday (we have a 2-month break, by the way), I've strived to get fitter and lose some weight. Like my friend Sher said, 'A strong mind starts with a fit body'. I'm not only doing this to look and feel better, but also to get over the 'malas' (lazy) mentality I have been having this semester. So I'm visiting the school gym on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 9-plus and staying on til about 12. Why so long you ask? Well, I usually warm up with a 1.6 km run on the treadmills, work on my Quadriceps (thigh muscles) with squats or leg presses, then I move on to work on my deltoids (shoulders) and various arm muscles. I usually end off with calf stretches, chest work or free weights before I hit the treadmill again for another 1.6 km run. On alternate days (Tuesdays and Thursdays) I try to go cycling or hitting the water for my swim. This is followed up with free weights and push ups at home working on the chest and arm muscles again. I need to start work on my midsection too but I just hate the strain I feel when working muscles I haven't worked in so long. But gotta ah.
Also, I'm gonna start eating less and detoxifying more. I lost some 8kg in two months with exercise and eating till I'm 70% full last year. And I felt great. I really want to get back to that. Also, I think I'll need to up my intake of fruits and vegetables. But I just hate vegetables la...Haha..NEED TO...
Hmm, what else?...I think I shall start cycling to the mosque in the morning for Subuh prayers and at night for Isyak. I really miss just sitting for hours reading the Quran and hear it being read. Sometimes, I'd pull the translated version alongside the normal one and read them one sentence at a time to understand what I'm reading. I know I cannot repay that which I have lost, but I can make amends so that in future, I do not lose more right? =)
I think that shall be it for now. It's a plan and it will not work till I put it to action. But we gotta start somewhere. =)
Have a great holiday, guys from school. For all you normal people, try and have a great day everyday yea? No point going through the day worrying about the next when the next doesn't even know it exists. So pick yourselves up, dust yourselves off and keep pushing.
Finally, for Nur, I'm glad I have a friend. =)
Semester started in January with purely Curriculum Studies(CS) and Subject Knowledge(SK) modules/courses. So there were 2 each for the 2 subjects I'm studying to teach i.e. 1 CS and 1 SK for English and 1 CS and 1 SK for Math. Then there was the English for Academic and Professional Purposes (EAPP) module which was compulsory in spite of all the rumours. Haha. So that's like what? 5 modules? Hmm, some people had 7.
Let's do this by subject. For the EAPP one, well, I think I'm gonna suck and get at the very best, a B. I have this deficiency where I can master a skill but when asked to explain or understand its mechanisms, I'm lost. So that's a gone-case scenario. I felt I did badly (in fact I did, I got a low B nearing a C) for the assignment. My format was all wrong; I didn't answer the questions concisely..Hai..That is, at best, a bad memory.
Moving on, Math. Ok, for the SK one, I've got no excuse. This is totally my bad. It was a mixture of my complacency, indifference and a little to do with the change in learning style. Don't get me wrong, my tutor's a great guy. He explains and reviews profusely with us. But I just felt that a little change in his style this semester made me complacent and indifferent. But it's totally my fault. I hardly studied or did the tutorials. I didn't listen during lessons. I talked and surfed the net in class. All the things which could lead me to downfall, I did. =( But I did try my very best for the final exam. Was really nervous so I went to the gym in the morning to sweat out my fear (think I blogged about it earlier). So for this module, I'd give myself, at best also, another B. I doubt I can get a B+ even. Might even get another C.
CS was worst. If I get a B- for this one, I would be more than happy. I totally screwed up my presentation by doing the wrong topic and *insert a worse phrase than totally screwed up* my test. I failed TWO math tests this semester. One in SK and one in CS. Hai.. So for this one, I'd project a C or C-. Let's not talk about it further. I just wanna bury this one. (Oh and I did an 18 page Lesson Plan for this one)
Finally, English. Supposedly my best subject when I was in school, I could have done Higher English if it was offered. Haha. But this has been a roller-coaster semester for my best subject, although there were more dives than ascendences. SK was rough. We had two assignments to do, I scored a B- for one. I was expecting it because I forgot to decorate the piece. But I totally felt that my choice of text was appropriate. I dunno why he scored me so badly then. Think combined with the exam, I'd get a B.
CS was a tad better. I volunteered to be class rep after a tense 5-minute Mexican standoff between my tutor and the indifferent class. Haha. I kinda enjoy watching the verbal sparring we have each week and being the class rep, I get to sit quietly in my corner and not get asked too many questions. Haha. Though, I did build up a sizeable dislike for myself because of the preferential treatment I got. But then they had a chance to volunteer to be class rep and they didnt, so is it my fault? =P Anyway, I had lots of chances to do what I was best at in this module and I really liked it. I had lots of chances to act and present. =) And I got my role as a fat, bumbling burglar down to a 'T'. And I also had a chance to use my English skills to con my way out of alot of presentations. Basically, if you wanna survive in this module, learn these two skills: paraphrasing and speaking with confidence. Maintain EYE CONTACT with your audience at all time, even if you're getting the sh*t scared out of you. If they see that confidence, they will probably think the words coming out of your mouth make sense instead of just being a load of horse-crap, which in my case, was. Cos everything I was telling them came out of the book, just in a different phrase or word structure. Haha. Best grade, a B+, I think.
So my GPA is probably gonna lie between 2.5 and 3. Hai..I'm so gonna suck la. I had a 3.75 GPA in the first semester with straight As for my SK Math. =(
Ok, so what was the problem then? Why did this happen? And why did I allow this to happen?
I think my first major mistake was my complacency. This is something I have experienced before and luckily, I had time back then, to make amends. So I shall have to overcome this problem in my next semester.
Secondly, I didn't set aside enough time to understand and practise what I was doing. As compared to the first semester, the time I had spent on my work this semester would not even be a quarter of the time I spent last semester. Hai..
Thirdly, I was too distracted by everything that was going on around me. In the first semester, I had something to prove to myself and this problem can be linked to the first one; complacency. Maybe feeling that I had already proven myself for the first semester, I could take a break in this one. But I was wrong and I've paid for it. Like I always told Dzuhri, my eye was not on the prize. In fact, I had totally lost sight of it sometimes.
I also noticed a shift in my priorities this semester. A bad shift. I was hanging out with friends too much; I wasn't paying attention; and I didn't study. Religiously, I also stopped praying in school, alot. I used to pray daily in school but this semester, I kept making excuses that I would go home and pray after school ends at 1130-1230 on most days but end up hanging out with friends or sleeping when I got home. I really felt lost sometimes and I miss the serenity I felt when I sat in the musollah for hours on end during my break either reading the Yaasin or the Quran. Hai... I know that this debt will have to be settled between God and me. But I also remember a Khutbah (Friday sermon) I heard once that said that we should never give up on finding our way back to Islam and that God will never close the door of our hearts to finding its way back. =) This shall be my motivation.
So then the last question is: What are you going to do to better yourself?
This holiday (we have a 2-month break, by the way), I've strived to get fitter and lose some weight. Like my friend Sher said, 'A strong mind starts with a fit body'. I'm not only doing this to look and feel better, but also to get over the 'malas' (lazy) mentality I have been having this semester. So I'm visiting the school gym on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 9-plus and staying on til about 12. Why so long you ask? Well, I usually warm up with a 1.6 km run on the treadmills, work on my Quadriceps (thigh muscles) with squats or leg presses, then I move on to work on my deltoids (shoulders) and various arm muscles. I usually end off with calf stretches, chest work or free weights before I hit the treadmill again for another 1.6 km run. On alternate days (Tuesdays and Thursdays) I try to go cycling or hitting the water for my swim. This is followed up with free weights and push ups at home working on the chest and arm muscles again. I need to start work on my midsection too but I just hate the strain I feel when working muscles I haven't worked in so long. But gotta ah.
Also, I'm gonna start eating less and detoxifying more. I lost some 8kg in two months with exercise and eating till I'm 70% full last year. And I felt great. I really want to get back to that. Also, I think I'll need to up my intake of fruits and vegetables. But I just hate vegetables la...Haha..NEED TO...
Hmm, what else?...I think I shall start cycling to the mosque in the morning for Subuh prayers and at night for Isyak. I really miss just sitting for hours reading the Quran and hear it being read. Sometimes, I'd pull the translated version alongside the normal one and read them one sentence at a time to understand what I'm reading. I know I cannot repay that which I have lost, but I can make amends so that in future, I do not lose more right? =)
I think that shall be it for now. It's a plan and it will not work till I put it to action. But we gotta start somewhere. =)
Have a great holiday, guys from school. For all you normal people, try and have a great day everyday yea? No point going through the day worrying about the next when the next doesn't even know it exists. So pick yourselves up, dust yourselves off and keep pushing.
Finally, for Nur, I'm glad I have a friend. =)
Act 4, Scene 1: Break
I need a break.
Sher, I'm in for Bangkok!
Shukor, I'm in for Bali!
Anyone else going anywhere else for holidays and could use another pax? SAVE ME!
Hahaha...
=P
Sher, I'm in for Bangkok!
Shukor, I'm in for Bali!
Anyone else going anywhere else for holidays and could use another pax? SAVE ME!
Hahaha...
=P
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