Act 5, Scene 5: 5 Days and a Happy Birthday

It's my mum's birthday today so a shout-out to that first.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM. LOVE YA FOR LOVING ME. Haha..I always manage to make everything about me.

My parents are coming back from Sarawak tonight. So there goes my absolute freedom. This time around it wasn't as bad as when they went to France. Haha..

I bought my mum a bouquet of roses and Calla Lillies. Far East flora and the whole stretch of road there was jammed-packed with cars cos everyone was buying Willows and Lukan Plants for Chinese New Year.

Went with Princess and she was having some trouble with her contacts. But it was nice cos it was drizzling slightly and when we entered the cold room, it was numbing. Nur giggled when she realised our breaths turned white when we spoke cos she never thought it'd happen in real life. Cute right? =)

When I got back, I felt abit pensive while cutting the thorns off the roses. Here is what went through my mind:

I'm sure somewhere around the world, someone's come up with a species of rose that doesn't grow thorns (cos there are seedless grapes and sweet oranges). And if they can do that, they can also make the rose always smell sweet.

So somewhere in the world right now, there is a type of rose that does not have thorns and is perfectly sweet-smelling. Let's call this rose the Perfect Rose.

Now, how did the Perfect Rose come about? Surely, somewhere in history, someone must have said, 'Wow. I wish roses didn't have thorns. Then we won't be spending so much time cutting them off and in the process, hurt ourselves.'. And there must have been another person saying, 'I wish all the roses smelt sweet; instead of just a few in this bouquet.'.

And so, in the pursuit of the two ideals, someone strived to invent the Perfect Rose - one without thorns and are sweet-smelling. And I'm sure someone did.

Now, what just happened?

Did everyone around the world said they wanted roses that are without thorns and sweet-smelling?

No...

There are some who was not in that camp. They may have liked the thorns but not the sweet scent; or they may have liked the scent but not the thorns; or they may have liked both. So in reality, there are four different types of views on the Perfect Rose.

I'm sure when the Perfect Rose was first introduced, some people found that maybe it wasn't all that it was touted to be. And some of those people who initially liked the idea, started missing the thorns or the scentless roses.

Why am I saying this?

When I was snipping off the thorns of the roses, I noticed something. Some roses had many big thorns; some had many small thorns; some had a bunch of leaves; some had no leaves; some had a mixture. And I started thinking, 'I can't say I hate thorns because this rose has no thorns for me to hate.' And something hit me.

The roses in that bunch were like the people we meet in life. Some have all the good traits, some have all the bad traits, some have a mixture. But to each of us, we define good and bad differently. And so to me, I may hate a certain trait in someone but another person may not judge that person by that.

Then I thought, 'Well, maybe instead of hating cutting off the thorns, I could maybe accept them for what they are and in snipping them off, I am moulding the rose to be more acceptable.' And soon, I didn't mind snipping off the thorns anymore.

What I'm saying is, we don't usually meet the right person the first time around. We usually see something rough and not to our liking. But give him/her time to grow and soon, you'll accept the thorns for what they are.

Sometimes, I feel I don't deserve you. Because when I look in the mirror, I see what you see; and I know its not what you want. I worry about what others will think and I worry about how you might be affected by it. Honestly, I feel that there is someone out there who is good for you; and I am just a path for you to get there.

But I want to try..to risk everything, and find out, even if it fails, to know what it would have felt like. Because at the end of the day, we still have our friendship.

Time will tell and God-willing, I will have my chance. But not now.. =)

Thanks for the best week I have ever had in my life. I thank God for every moment I was granted to spend with you..as a friend. I can not be happier.

I can wait, Nur.