Act 3, Scene 7: Hang

What time is it now?..Oh yea..8 am.

I got back at 330 just now. I slept at 4.

I woke up at 6.

I just got back.

2 hours of sleep.

I can't stand it anymore.

But since I can't sleep. I'll blog.

Princess and I had another argument again last night. 2 arguments in 2 nights. All detractors: START CHEERING

I don't wanna argue anymore. So if you're reading this, here's how it's broken down. The first part, I'm writing as a friend. The second, as what I had hoped to be.

I'm sure you got my 9-message long sms from last night. I read your blog this morning. Many questions got answered. I don't want to repeat what I said to you last night. If you wanna tell people on your own blog, that's up to you. But seeing how much you dislike talking about me, I don't think you will.

I don't want you to hurt yourself. Every friend would want to help prevent another from making mistakes, especially if they are the same mistakes. When I said I hurt when you do, I wasn't lying. But of course, I doubt you even care about how I feel so I don't wanna go into that.

It wasn't a counselling session. I was trying to support and motivate you. Also, when you asked those questions after our talk, it was about baring my heart to you. How many guys would dare to do such a thing, knowing the outcome? It is not easy for me to do that and I never crave the need for myself to be hurt by rejections over and over again.

The way I see it, I'm stuck in a worse predicament than you are.

You are in love with Amin.

I am in love with you.

He hurts you.

You hurt me.

You care about him.

You haven't shown you care about me.

He says you wasted his time and money.

I never said you wasted my time and money.

In a perfect world, I would have been able to capture your heart. Alas, we are not in a perfect world and for me to hope for it, is wishful thinking at best.

You shouldn't have asked me what a relationship meant to me.

This is what it means to be with you:

Every minute that I spend with you is precious;
like the breath God grants me to breathe.

I count my seconds with you as every single breath I take;
every glance I make at you;
every laugh I hear.

And for every one of those gifts I get, I try to spend a little bit more time with you. I try to take another breath, and make another glance and make you laugh one more time. I always pray that I get to spend another minute more with you.

I try to make you hear one more word spoken with my voice and another smile as I look at you.

And my promise to you would have been, that no matter how long we're in it together, and no matter how hard it would have gotten, I would still count every single moment by its breaths, smiles, glances, words and laughs. And I would firstly thank God for allowing just a little bit more; then I'll pray for more.



That is what my relationship with you means to me.



Would you have understood?



The question should have been:

'Why do you still have hope for this to work out?'

The answer would have been:

'Because we cannot predict the future.'

You told me that when I asked about Amin. Why can it apply to you and him and not to me?



I see all your other boyfriends. And they beat me by leaps and bounds.

I offer you nothing. Just promises.

I know you are ashamed of me. I see it in your eyes.


Did you know when I told Haryani that I did not want to woo her anymore?

When we came back from chalet, and when I said goodbye, she didn't even look at me.



What do you think I felt when I said goodbye to you and you did not even look at me?



Why did I get back at 4 in the morning?

Cos I was searching for answers. I haven't found one.

I am still in love with you. Give me a chance.


Hang is the name of a song by Matchbox 20.

Here it is:







Would you please give me a chance?