Act 3, Scene 8: Solitude

All my life, my decisions have been made with your consultations. And all my life, I believed it was the right thing to do. But that does not mean I have not looked back and wondered what life would have been like if I did not make some of those decisions.

I can name a few where if I had gone against your word, life would have been very different. Of course, in such a biased view, I would have expected it to turn out for the best. But things rarely do and being who I am, I will learn. That's the problem. You never allowed me to experience pain and hardship because you coddled me. Yes, it's for the best but sometimes I wish I had learnt something.

Now I am at a crossroad in my life. And she's someone I am keeping my options open on. We are friends. Why couldn't, and shouldn't we be more? Because she's another statistic?

I wish sometimes you'd just let go of your pride and let me live the way I want. For 23 years, I've given you all that I can, mostly without questions. Why can't you be happy and pray for the best for my decisions. Yes, she carries alot of baggage, but wouldn't it be great if I can help her carry it for the rest of our lives together?

For 23 years, I have displayed a level-headedness beyond my age. What makes you think I haven't thought this through? But like I've said, I'm not in love. We're just friends. Which makes what happened in the car earlier that much more difficult for me to understand.

Why were you freaking out and screaming that you do not want me to keep seeing her? What wrong has she ever done to you? In any case, what wrong have I done to you, in relation to her? Haven't I fulfilled my role as a son? Why can't you be happy for me for once and to stop and think that this is what is best for me?

In any case, any girl I've told you about was never good enough for you. And maybe subconsciously, you've been praying that I never meet one that is. I know that is thinking the worst of you, but aren't you doing the same to me and her?

Now, you've closed the door. And all the goodness I've felt before has gone away. What am I supposed to do now?

What can I do now...