I was watching Suria earlier, some funny variety/awards show. Then Hyrul Anuar came out and sang this song:
"Terkadang masa,
Menikam dan terus berlalu pergi.
Meninggal kan sisa dan membuka seribu luka di hati.
Walau ku cuba hindarkan sesal di dada.
Kesilapan lalu menghantui diri ku...
Segala yang indah sering menemani ruang sepi ku.
Senyum dan tawa mu masih jelas terbayang di mata ku.
Kini semuanya menjadi kenangan silam.
Sesal hati dirundung kecewa...
Aku...
Tak pernah menduga...
Begini hebatnya duka lara bila berakhirnya cinta.
Mengapa sukar untuk ku melupakan mu,
Namun mudahnya kau membenci diri ini...
Apalah gunanya ku terus mencari kesilapan diri.
Sedang kau tak pernah ingin mengerti perasaan di hati.
Pernah kah kau rasa, hangatnya genangan.
Air mataku yang tak mungkin mengalir.
Sungguh aku tak pernah mengerti.
Mengapa semua harus begini...
Seribu luka...
Kesal dihati...
Betapa ku kesal...
Biar ku...
Sendiri..."
Couldn't help it. Was tearing on the way to my room.
The song explains EXACTLY what I'm feeling now. Right down to the part of being hurt and confused at the same time.
And the regrets.
Thinking back to just last week when we were so happy. And how fast things changed.
Please don't think bad of her when you read this. Read it and think, 'Azlan did say he will accept all responsibility for any hurt he felt. So we cannot pity him.'
Yes. Think that way. Don't pity me. I just want to let it out so I don't feel so f**ked up. Hai...I wanted to scream when I woke up.
Been crying myself to sleep for the past three nights. And when I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is think of her and cry.
She's forgiven me..But it feels like we're so far away, it's the same.
I guess it's another night of crying myself to sleep...
And another morning of wishing I hadn't let her go out of the car...
=(
I'm suffering, Nur.
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