Act 8, Scene 1: Proficient

Today was a good day.

I thought I'd screwed up my LO but it turned out ok. Got a really good review from my NSC but I shan't let it get to my head. Cos the lesson after was a farce. Or so I felt.

Was standing outside class today waiting for the previous teacher to exit when I looked down into the eco-garden of the school. I realised how small the school actually was. Though I've never been to the upper levels, the physical structure of the buildings themselves were small compared to Yew Tee Primary, which, thinking about it now, seems huge. But I still prefer that structure cos it had a really nice view and didn't feel as cramped.

I guess not many people find what they really want to do with their lives. Either because they're not given an opportunity, made a mistake along the way, or maybe just because things did not pan out for them. I could never accept the fact of living the rest of my life behind a desk; only having the people around me for interaction. Teaching is more than that. I wouldn't say it's a passion but when I think back on the different lessons I have, I realise I have an opportunity for 43 different interactions everyday with 43 different people. And how that influences my decisions.

I went through a really rough patch last year. And thinking about it now, no matter how bad it got, all it took was for one of my kids to come up to me and just smile and let me know how much he's enjoying the class. You see, no matter how fierce and disciplined I may get, those closest to me always know that I won't stay that way for long. And these kids sure are fast in catching on to that. They know I would reserve a severe scolding only when multiple parties are involved and when they make a mistake, I am quick to reason it out with them and find a solution. I am beyond the reasoning that shouting and humiliation are ways to solve a child's misbehaviour. I believe in making the child take responsibility for his actions and working together to find a solution. But I know that it may not always work out but I hope, at least, it would not stop the child from approaching me again if he ever needed help.

There's not much going on in my life right now and apart from being exhausted every night, I don't see anything else to talk about. I'm trying to finish up my tuition in Jurong and release it. I don't know really. But sometimes, I just wish people would realise how much I'm giving up to make it easier for them. I don't need the verbal gratification; rather, perhaps the emotional acknowledgement. Hai... I dunno. Maybe that's asking too much?